How is someone so good in bed? Rarely is that attributed to natural talent, according to research. Instead, sexologists have pointed to 5 key ways to unlocking great sex.
- Spell Out Your Desires
Research reveals that sex does improve significantly when you tell your partner what you desire in bed.
Clinical psychologist Alexis Conason encourages people to be ‘in charge of your own orgasm’. In short, ask for what you want. Others agree too, urging couples to write down what they enjoy and don’t enjoy about their sex life.
Things like, ‘I want more or less of foreplay’, or new things they’d like to experiment with.
- Relax and Have Fun
‘Use this’, or ‘Put this on’, or ‘Do this for how long’ – sometimes sex can be too goal-oriented.
That mindset of needing to tick the boxes during sex can cripple one’s ability to have great sex. Sometimes it arises from the pressure to perform, and other times it’s a result of natural insecurities.
But some experts say the way to break this mindset is to be spontaneous.
Pick out a new toy, wear something different, or role-play.
- A Little Planning Goes a Long Way
By all means, spontaneity is encouraged. But a little bit of planning is too, according to sex experts.
And they say, it doesn’t start in the bedroom.
The planning is for the week, allocating which days to engage in sex.
A German study published in the Journal of Sex Research reveals that those who do a little planning often report the best sex.
So, setting aside time to be intimate with each other is not a romance killer, but a necessity.
- Know Each Other’s Bodies, Intimately
Find the time to get familiar with each other’s hot spots.
Experts have encouraged the use of fingers and tongue to run through the body, and linger on places.
A self-professed sex hacker encouraged men to find out more about women’s G-spot and the clitoris.
That may sound like having a biology lesson, but it’ll help you locate a G-spot more easily, and when you do that, you can get started with more confidence.
- Keep at It, or You’ll Be Rusty
Like anything we do, great sex requires constant practice.
Experts say, how frequently you have sex will affect your ability to enjoy it, and your performance in bed. In short, like a well-oiled car, great sex has to be maintained.
Research finds that having frequent sex is beneficial to your day-to-day interactions too, and that in turn affects how you feel in the bedroom.
For women especially, your everyday interactions with them is likely to spill-over onto bedroom behaviour.
Experts have pointed out that the frequency of sexual contact will make the couple feel connected, and reduces day-to-day stress in the relationship, making for bedroom bliss.
Now what other secrets do you have in bed? Care to share?